Build a Strong Foundation: Premarital Counseling for Your Forever Journey

Planning a wedding is exciting, but preparing for a lifetime together requires more than choosing flowers and venues. Counseling allows engaged couples to build the strong foundation needed for a lasting, fulfilling marriage through professional premarital coaching.

If you're thinking about starting therapy to strengthen your relationship, you're not alone. Interestingly, what you did before you got married might play a bigger role than you think. A recent study sheds light on how premarital education, such as counseling sessions before tying the knot, can influence whether couples consider, seek out, and actually attend couples therapy down the road. Premarital coaching can put couples on the right path and set them up for success through thick & thin.

The Gateway Effect

The study confirmed something researchers have noticed before: couples who go through premarital education are more likely to seek therapy later. It also dug deeper, showing how this happens. It turns out that premarital education can prepare couples to recognize issues early and take action before things get worse.

Proactive counseling instead of reactive counseling is so effective because catching issues early is one of the best ways to prevent major conflicts down the line. Premarital education won’t force you into therapy in the future, but it gives you the tools and confidence to seek help when you need it.

What Did the Study Find?

Wives who received premarital education were more likely to consider therapy even when they were still fairly happy in the relationship. Instead of waiting until things were falling apart, these women were more open to getting help as a way to maintain—not just rescue—the relationship. That said, husbands were still more likely to actually attend couples therapy if they had received premarital education.

Interestingly, the study also found that husbands were more likely to go to therapy if they had at least considered it before and had engaged in premarital counseling. So when a wife decides it's time for therapy, her husband's willingness—and previous exposure to these types of conversations—can make a big difference in whether the couple moves forward together.

Though the study only observed heterosexual couples, the same principles apply to same sex couples.

Premarital counseling can help normalize help-seeking for both partners, making it more likely they’ll consider therapy while their relationship is still in a good place. This is especially important in same-sex relationships, where external stressors like discrimination or lack of family support can complicate things. Having a well-established emotional tools and defining your Value Umbrella can ease addressing conflicts down the road .

If you're in a same-sex relationship and thinking about premarital counseling, choosing a program that respects and understands your unique experiences can lay a strong foundation; not just for marriage, but for staying connected through life’s ups and downs.

What Does This Mean for Me?

If you're wondering if counseling would be beneficial, it’s worth reflecting on whether you’ve had any premarital education and what you took from it. If you haven’t, it’s not too late. Many of the benefits that come from premarital education—learning to spot warning signs early, understanding how and where to get help, and having open conversations about your relationship—can be developed anytime.

For couples planning to marry, this research suggests that investing time in quality premarital education (especially programs that encourage long-term maintenance, not just immediate conflict resolution) could make it easier to seek support in the future.

Premarital education won’t solve all your relationship issues, but it may help you notice negative patterns earlier, feel more confident in seeking help, and actually follow through on therapy when the time is right. Think of it as more than a box to check before marriage; it’s a foundation for staying connected, growing stronger, and knowing when to ask for help.

If therapy is something you’re curious about, consider it a proactive step—not a sign of failure. And if you’ve done premarital education, you might already be more prepared than you think.

Williamson HC, Hammett JF, Ross JM, Karney BR, Bradbury TN. Premarital education and later relationship help-seeking. J Fam Psychol. 2018 Mar;32(2):276-281. doi: 10.1037